Your Identity vs The Real You

By Jill Garaffa

There’s this great little parable of an Old Cherokee Indian telling his grandson about two wolves inside himself that are fighting. One wolf is good: full of peace, harmony and love. The other wolf is evil: full of malice, anger and hatred. The little boy asks his grandfather “which wolf wins?” The grandfather simply says, “The one I feed.”

Take a moment to consider that there is The Real You: the one living deep on the inside. The one that holds a positive vision for your future, the one that’s dying to come out and be expressed in the world: the better life, the healthier body, more energy; dreams fulfilled, goals achieved. The You that can accomplish anything you set your mind to; The You that’s strong, healthy, happy, peaceful, fulfilled, accomplished. The Real You is an intuitively guided, powerful, unstoppable being put here on this earth for a purpose.

Then, there’s your Identity—it’s who you’ve been. It’s all the behaviors and habits that have lead up to this moment: The choices you’ve made, friends you’ve spent time with; beliefs you’ve held as your own. Your Identity is everything from the clothes you choose to wear, the job you choose to have, the car you drive, the foods you eat (or not eat); the exercise you do (or don’t do). It’s all the “stuff” that molds and shapes your humanness.

Consider that “The Identity” (aka The OLD You) is in a full-on battle, fighting for its life, with “The Real You” (aka The NEW You…the You that you are becoming). So, every food craving and every excuse to not exercise (and every rationalization in between) is your Identity’s way of trying to sabotage you into keeping things exactly the same. It’s war of two wolves.

The wolf that wins is the one you feed.

3 Quick Tips:

1. Be conscious of your thoughts, words and actions. They are connected and will create your life. Your words are very powerful. They feed your future, so remember to speak blessings into your own life.

2. Just like a weak muscle needs time, practice and consistency to develop into a very strong muscle: Your positive self talk, healthy behaviors and habits need time, practice, consistency to develop into strong habits and behaviors. Be patient with yourself.

3. You are NOT alone. There is strength in numbers. “One branch is easily broken but not ten in a bundle”. Consider finding an accountability partner or create a “success club” with friends. When we are surrounded by others to bring out our best, we will bring out our best!

About the Author:

holds a B.S. in Occupational Therapy from Kean University, and formal training program certificates in life coaching from both Comprehensive Coaching U and The Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching. Jill’s career as an occupational therapist reached a turning point in 2002 when she transformed her passion for health into a full time coaching business to help prevent the kinds of conditions she’d treated as a therapist. Jill is the owner and founder of Seeds of Change Health & Wellness Coaching, which provides lifestyle coaching services to individuals and groups, from families to corporations.

Seeds of Change Health & Wellness Coaching

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