I used to get upset when I realized something wasn’t turning out the way I wanted or thought it should. I’d get an idea, take action, and it didn’t work out. I used to question whether I deserved it and the answer was “no” if it didn’t happen when I expected it to. If I was trying to do something better for me, why couldn’t I just have it? I worked myself up several times because I expected a specific outcome from my actions. I didn’t realize the value in the lessons and that sometimes you really do need to seemingly move backwards to move forward. You need to process the emotions, reconcile the situation, really pay attention to the healing to move forward. And I say healing because that’s usually involved even if you aren’t trying to intentionally heal something. If there’s a block in your way, there’s something to heal. 

In my own healing process I’ve expected things to go a certain way. I actually didn’t think I’d be on this journey to be fully honest with you. Looking back now, it makes perfect sense, but when it started I didn’t realize what was going on. I was curious about an email series I started receiving and reading. Bam! Awareness. I said yes to go to a workshop for personal development. Bam! Possibility. I ended up saying yes to Reiki just because it sounded cool. Bam! Acceleration. Both questions and answers started popping up right before my eyes but I knew not what it meant. Over the next 3 years I had a series of events to follow cues, uncover layers, hit some dead ends, and discover more layers. But never having anything end up the way I thought it should. None of it. Not one thing. 

But guess what? I know everything has been exactly what I needed and that nothing I’ve wanted along the way could have been as good as it actually turned out. I never expected that a health diagnosis could be the key to unlocking my freedom. My ticket to learn, ask questions, and explore the deepest darkest depths of myself to question my fabric and create a new one. To have me cross paths with some of the most important and influential people in my life, and let go of others because it’s not part of the journey anymore. I couldn’t have expected it but I wouldn’t have changed it either. I’ve uncovered layers, never in a “logical” order but always in perfect order and time. So what does that say?

When we’re looking to make a change in our lives, small or radical, we are asked to let go of our expectations to let what is supposed to come in, in. But that isn’t always easy is it? In law of attraction you are taught that like attracts like and that when you want to attract or manifest something you have to act as if you have that thing already. It’s in your life already you just have to align with the energy of the thing so you can bring it into your awareness. What many people miss, is you can’t dictate how that thing is going to show up. You can ask for what you want and you can get crystal clear on why you want it, but the how is left up to faith, the universe, the cosmos.

But why is that? We as humans want to dictate. We are taught to control and design and expect. Identify all of the factors, consider all of the perspectives and permutations of possibility. At least we think we are. We limit ourselves by resisting flow. What if you’re asking for something too small? What if you’re asking for something you don’t need right now? What if you can’t see that by getting what you think you want, you’re actually hurting yourself or preventing what you need, before you can receive and fully benefit from your true desires? What if you’re preventing your dream from getting to you quicker and in a more beneficial way?

So why are we blocking ourselves with the expectation that something is supposed to go a certain way? What’s so wrong with trusting in the process and feeling and being grateful for what is, in the moment? Why close off the possibility that something can happen in a different timeline, but better than you imagined…if you let it? What if you’re doing great by taking baby steps and flowing with your growth as it comes? Let’s give ourselves permission to grow and change in a way that feeds our soul.