Self love is one of those concepts that has also become a buzz word. An idea that’s been sold, resold, rebranded, and marked up.
Now it’s almost like a gimmick, the ‘woo woo cure all for everything’ and incites an automatic eye roll when it’s thrown around as a quick fix.
Self love is more than “love, light, and happiness”. It’s dark, it’s messy, it’s uncomfortable and even painful because it’s accepting you for ALL of you as you are.
So honestly, I can understand the detraction
But when you really think about it, if you’re not loving yourself, what are you doing instead?
You’re talking down to yourself, shaming yourself, doubting yourself, lying to yourself, and just all around loathing yourself
You think things like…
- I’m not good enough
- I’m lazy
- I don’t deserve it
- I’m not attractive enough
- I’m not smart enough
- I don’t fit in anywhere
- Everyone else is working harder than me
- I haven’t worked hard enough
- I haven’t suffered enough
- I’m too big
- I’m too small
- I’m too loud
- I’m broken
- I’m a dumbass
- I’ll start fresh on Monday
This spiral of self loathing is a time and energy suck
It causes you to always think about yourself and the reasons why things won’t work
Self Love allows for baseline acceptance and blanket compassion
It allows you to focus on solutions you can implement with who you are now and what you got
Just think of all the things you could otherwise spend your self loathing energy on
Imagine not being drained by the disappointment of not meeting all the different standards
Self Love means you set the standard
You’re able to function in clearly, efficiently, and confidently in a sustainable way
In reality, you don’t need that inner mean girl task master
You may think she’s helping you, but she’s actually exhausting you
So drop her and try a cheerleader instead
The cheerleader that accepts you for who you are and has compassion for both who you’ve been and who you want to be.
She reminds you that you are the prize, everything else is extra.
Don’t know where to start?
My coach gave me this exercise when I started:
Think of someone you love and admire and write down what you think of them
- She’s so smart
- She’s really compassionate and there for others
- She gives incredible advice
- She’s gorgeous
- She’s reliable
Then change the statements to I/I am
- I am so smart
- I am really compassionate and there for others
- I give incredible advice
- I am gorgeous
- I am reliable
These become the affirmations you repeat back to yourself daily. Eventually, they are engrained as a new thought pattern that override your self loathing thoughts and serve you significantly better
Ready for more?
Schedule your free mini session with me today. Let’s talk to see how I can help
Amber Taylor is a life coach that helps women live into their most authentic selves in every space so they can enjoy true pleasure and freedom