After he saw my deep gratitude and sheer delight, as I gulped down every drop, he continued to bring me fresh squeezed orange juice the next day, then the next and the next. He said seeing my pleasure and gratitude allowed him to feel love. It’s now a daily habit, his way of expressing his love to me. It’s a sweet and poignant small part of our relationship, which creates big results and deeper connection. What small thing could you do that would have a loving impact right away?
Our lives are built upon relationships and I love supporting others in developing deep and rich relationships…the relationship with yourself, the relationship with your loved ones and colleagues, the relationship with your health and well-being, the relationship with your money, with your world and with your higher power.
Life is about the joy and love you bring into your world and into your human experience. When you tend to the relationships in your life you grow, blossom and attract to you deep and meaningful connections. We all have experienced physical pain but there is nothing more painful than relationship pain.
So the question is… how do you tend to the relationships in your life?
A few years ago, research was conducted with over twenty thousand people from all different backgrounds, age groups and cultures. The question was “How do you feel loved”? How does the feeling of being loved show up for you?
Here are the results narrowed down to seven fundamental tools that you can use. Let’s take a look at these 7-Tips and see if applying one, two or all seven would make the difference in connecting with your love ones.
TIP #1 – Practice love. The best way to generate a higher experience of love’s presence in our lives is to love first. Love your self just the way you are. There is only one you in the whole universe who is unique with your own preference, gifts and talents.
Tip #2 – Listen well. The most repeated answer in the research for how others feel more love is to be listened to. We feel we are loved when we are being listen to. Usually we are busy thinking what we will say next instead of giving our full attention to the one who is speaking to us. Really listening allows us to feel loved.
Tip #3 – Praise and give acknowledgement. Compliments, acknowledgement and praise expand the presence of love. Watch a child glow the next time you praise a successful action or watch a smile emerge when giving someone a sincere compliment.
Tip #4 – Appropriate touching. Most may think touching would be the first, however, love is an inside out experience and touching is one of the ways we enhance the heart. There is an appropriate way of touching which shows a real communication. A caring, loving hug, touch on the shoulder or pat on the hand is another way we feel loved by others.
Tip #5 – Believe in dreams, yours and others. When we are supported in our goals and dreams we feel more supported in love. Believing in someone’s dream creates a deep connection. It allows us to feel trust and give trust. We are all allowed to dream! Supporting those we care about and acknowledging the importance of their dreams enhances self esteem and creates self approval.
Tip #6– Give and receive loving feedback. When we are open to receive loving and constructive feedback without judgment, attachment or defensiveness we open ourselves to expand in love. This tip requires skill. Given in an unskilled way could feel like criticism or not very loving at all. Loving feedback is not about making someone wrong; it’s not about being right, it has to do with, “I love you enough to share this feedback with you.” It’s up to you if you choose to heed it or not.
Tip #7 – Keeping agreements. Keeping an agreement is being in integrity. It shows love for my self and others. Relationships become more stable, solid and powerful. It means you can count on me and I can count on you. We all love someone to count on, so be that person.Creating a deeper connection with those you love is a choice and a decision. It is an action, which then incorporates into a lifestyle. It begins when we look inside our self to see where we feel more love and how we share our love with others.
Find moments where you have a chance to make a lifetime impression of what love looks like; how it shows up and listens; how love praises and acknowledges; how real love moves through touch and how love supports others and keeps agreements with integrity. When you study and use the 7-Tips on Love, you will then see your relationships begin to grow, blossom and bloom, much like the fruit on an orange tree.
-Written by Julie Jones Hamilton