Break Free from Pleasing Others at Your Expense!
When you come to “Break Free” from limiting beliefs, habits, routines and feelings which no longer work or support what you want, we look at the automatic behaviors, strategies, or personas you have historically engaged in throughout your life.
What is a persona? It’s the image you present to the world, an aspect of your character which formed in early childhood. They are like little bits of personality which arose as coping strategies to deal with or make sense of situations that were scary, confusing, or overwhelming. Examples of personas are: The good student, the peacemaker, the critic, the victim, etc. These same strategies come up for us in adulthood. They are innate and generally unconscious. They surface automatically when we get triggered or reactivated by a person or a situation.
To better illustrate a persona, let me introduce you to “The People Pleaser”. This is an extreme, cartoonish example of this behavior. After decades of behaving in pleaser mode, one has a difficult time, knowing what he or she truly wants or feels. Sacrificing one’s own best interest or needs becomes ingrained
People pleasers often believe that pleasing behavior will avoid conflict, keep the attention off oneself, and will win approval and accolades. Sometimes being pleasing is a default in an intimidating or frightening situation. The unconscious drive or habit is to please whoever is upset in an attempt to get the anger or crisis to stop.
We can learn to unhook from these unconscious strategies, by learning how to be present and to respond authentically, rather than reacting automatically. Life is far more fun when we are not caught up in childhood coping mechanisms and can see opportunities and possibilities in any given situation.
Morgan Sontag, MS, Break Free to an extraordinary life coach, psychotherapist, educator, trainer, catalyst, and Hendricks Institute: Transformational Leaders Program graduate, employs cutting-edge approaches to assist folks in expanding their capacity for joy. Dissolving negative mental patterns: criticizing, defending, denying, withholding, etc., which prevent full self-expression is a Morgan specialty. Weaving quick-witted humor and fun, Morgan helps open stuck places, unleashing freedom, joy, and hidden potential. “Resolving issues does not have to be hard!” she says. Daily doses of tear-streaming laughter, surprises, meeting people, theatre, traveling and learning as much as possible keeps life fresh and enlivening for Morgan.
Contact info: Morgan Sontag, MS
Break Free Therapy and Coaching