One of the beautiful lessons I’ve learned from my relationship with my amazing man is about support. Before we met I thought I was really great at supporting those I love. When I offered him support on different occasions I noticed there was a resistance on his part. He explained to me that although he appreciated my help, I never asked him how he wanted to be supported.
What I ended up doing, without realizing it, was one of two things. Either I supported him in the way that I would want to be supported if I were in that situation. Or I supported him the way I assumed he wanted or needed to be supported. I never even thought to ask him.
When we support our friends and family it’s because we want to be of some service to them to help make things easier. How often do we actually ask them how they want to be supported? With our closest friends usually all we need to do is say, “I love you and I’m here if you need anything”. Even though they know they can come to us for anything, wouldn’t it feel really good to instead say, “I love you. How can I help you? What can I do for you?”. You’re ready to take action if it will be of service to them.
There are a lot of people who have a hard time asking for help even when you’ve told them you’re there if they need anything. When you ask them how you can help, they don’t have to ask you. You’ve started the conversation. This for many is a support in itself. And this way you’re certain to know what action (or sometimes lack of action) will be the best thing to support them most in that time.
Don’t ever be afraid to ask those you want to help what you can do for them and how you can do it. It’s a small and simple step that supports those you care about in a very loving and powerful way. They will certainly be thankful that you want to help. They will be even more appreciative that you took the time to respect them and ask them what they need.