Are there people in your life who have wronged you in some way? I am sure there are. We have all been hurt by someone at sometime or another in our lives. Are you waiting on an apology from that person or persons? Even those who have apologized to you, have you accepted their apology?
Forgiveness is a difficult concept for most people because we as human beings find it difficult to forgive someone who has wronged us – we feel we are allowing that person to get away with something, that we are excusing them for their behavior. In some instances, the person that has committed a wrongful act, will see the wrong they have done and will step up and apologize. Some of us will accept that apology, content that at least the other person realizes what they have done and are remorseful. Other times we are so bitter that we are unwilling to accept the apology.
Here are some things about Forgiveness to keep in mind:
• God has forgiven us – so we must forgive others
• Forgive those who have hurt you – let God fight your battles
• Ask God to help you soften your heart and help you to forgive those who have wronged you. Also pray for healing from the pain and hurt you are feeling. God loves you
• Forgiving is not about the person who has hurt you – it’s about YOU. Forgiving someone doesn’t mean that you condone what they have done or even accept what they have done.
• Not forgiving the other person binds you / chains you to the person and the pain they have caused you.
• Not forgiving allows the person who hurt you and the pain they have caused to have power over you.
• Not forgiving allows you to wallow in your pain and bitterness thereby, allowing you to continually remind the person who has hurt you what they have done. You never allow yourself to heal and move past the hurt because you are too focused on “punishing” the other person.
The other difficult part of forgiveness is being able to forgive yourself for things you have done. Some food for thought about forgiving yourself:
• If you have hurt someone, ask that person for forgiveness.
• Confess your behavior to God and ask His forgiveness – He will forgive you . Pray for help in forgiving yourself. Give it to God and let it go!
• Don’t be imprisoned and chained by your behavior. What you have done is not who you are, but an unfortunate choice that you have made in your life – don’t allow it to define you.
Forgiveness is your “get out of jail free card”. It releases you from the chains of hurt, pain and bitterness. You weren’t meant to live in chains – so often we live our lives in chains, and we already have the key. Let go and BE FREE!
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Michelle Dillard is a Certified Professional and Stress Management Coach passionate about helping her clients become the best version of themselves. She holds a master’s degree in Social Work from Columbia University in New York and a master’s degree in Guidance & Counseling from Long Island University, also in New York. In the past she has worked with abused children, substance abusers, and parolees. Inspired by her own life experiences, she seeks to assist others suffering from poor self-esteem realize their inherent worth and value as human beings and make emotionally healthy choices in all areas of their lives.
Dawning Light Coaching